For You, I Will Build a House of Jaffas
by Itite Emakoiji
Summary: Honeyphos fan-fiction: Xephos (Lewis) wants to show Honeydew (Simon) how much he means to him so he says he will do 'anything Honeydew wants'. Will Xephos be able to live up to his word and do what Honeydew wants... and more?


(I am so so so into the Honeyphos right now, aiya! Hope you like this one, as I thought it could quench my mega-fangirl-fandoms. I would LOVE to see reviews for this one! Hope you like it! -Itite Emakoiji)

I sat, watching a certain red-haired and red-bearded dwarf running madly around with the pigs. I felt jealous; why was Honeydew more bothered about the pigs than about me? I was his best friend, Xephos, after all. But I felt annoyed at that, too. I'd been friend-zoned. I didn't want to be friend-zoned in the slightest.

I realized that Honeydew was heading back up the hill towards me, and I was glowering at the horizon. I sat back, set back my shoulders, and tried to look as happy and relaxed as possible, which was pretty difficult, considering my jealous position.

Honeydew flopped down onto the lush grass beside me, panting. Envy and lust flooded through me; I wanted to make Honeydew pant like that! I caught myself glaring again and looked away quickly.

Honeydew sat up, "Xephos, are you alright?" he said cheerfully.

"Y-yes, I'm fine," I said. I turned to him, "Look; if there's anything you ever need or really badly want," I moved closer to him. "I can make it happen."

I blinked. Where had that come from?! Honeydew was looking at me strangely, like he was judging me. Shit!

"What do you mean, Xephos?" asked Honeydew slowly, choosing his words carefully and with a serious look on his face.

I panicked. Why why why did I say that?! I didn't even I know I was going to say that!

"Wait, do you mean, like," Honeydew paused. "If I wanted a flat made of Jaffa Cakes, you'd make that for me?" exclaimed Honeydew suddenly, his face lighting up with a grin.

I saw a window. Trust Honeydew to transform it into a joke. Even though I was relieved that I wouldn't have to explain my outburst, I was getting angry. Deep down, I realized, I had wanted it to sound like a submissive confession of love.

Honeydew saw my face and patted my shoulder. Each time he touched me, a zing went through me, like an electric shock. I managed not to tense my shoulders and block him out.

"So, is that what you meant or not?" asked Honeydew. He needed the confirmation. What else could I say? If I said 'no', then it would sound weird and make Honeydew feel awkward around me. But, on the other hand, maybe then he'd understand what I wanted.

"Yeah… that's what I meant," I sighed.

"Well, then!" jumping up again, Honeydew grinned. "You gonna come and look at the pigs with me or are you gonna start work on my Jaffa-flat?" he said.

I frowned, "You actually want me to do that?" I said, surprised. Honeydew scratched his beard with gloved fingers.

"Yeah. You said you'd 'make it happen'," he said.

I stood up to protest. If I actually had that many Jaffa Cakes and I had the time and skill, sure I'd make the flat, but, as I didn't, I couldn't.

"I can't make a flat out of Jaffa Cakes, Honeydew!" I cried.

The expression that Honeydew had before was a cute one, of hope and joy, but, when I said that I wouldn't make him what he wanted, even though I said I would, his expression crumbled.

"Oh," he said quietly. "It was just a joke, then? I thought you were serious."

I realized something. If Honeydew thought that what I had said was a joke, then I couldn't possibly go back on it. Therefore, I couldn't make my move and tell him what I wanted to tell him. But if I said that it wasn't a joke, Honeydew would be expecting to sleep in a room with Jaffa Cakes for walls.

"Something… something like that," I said, trying to smile.

That night, I couldn't sleep. I had woken up three times to escape the guilty feeling of seeing poor Honeydew's face fall as I said it was a joke. I shouldn't have said that. I should have told him how I felt about him.

It's funny. When someone wants to tell another person something, they can rehearse it all they like, but, when the fateful time comes, they will crumble and overthink at the last moment, when they are standing right in front of the person. I had realized this after months and months of practicing confessing to Honeydew in front of the mirror. Every morning I would will myself to go and say what I had been preparing to him, but, at the last moment, my courage would fail and I would be left hanging, my words cowering at the back of my mind. I wanted Honeydew as a lover, but I didn't want to lose him as a friend, which is what would happen if it had gone wrong.

I woke again. I must have dropped off thinking. Thinking about Honeydew. I sat up and swung my legs out of bed, and put my head in my hands. What could I do?

"I've got it," I said to myself, jumping up. "I will build Honeydew his house of Jaffas!"

Of course, I had to act quickly. First, I had to make all the Jaffa Cakes, so that meant harvesting the sugar and cocoa beans, and then I had to find a suitable location. I chose a nice, flat area, just behind the place where we had been sitting before. I planned the house so that Honeydew would get a good view of the pigs.

Then I got to work in my home, setting down piles and piles of Jaffa Cakes all around me, pausing only to wipe my brow before I started to make more. When the room was very nearly full of Jaffa Cakes, I started taking them out and up to the top of the hill. I decided to make the walls double-thick, so that the house would be twice as strong.

Sunlight filtered through the leaves from the trees on the hill. I hadn't noticed that it was morning. I had begun to make Jaffas in the very early morning, sometime around two. By the placement of the sun, I guessed that it was about six AM. That was good. Honeydew never got up until at least ten. Smiling to myself, I started to lay down the foundations of a Jaffa-house, trying my best to make it in a way that Honeydew would like.

Trance-like hour after trance-like hour passed, as all I could think of while I was creating the house was how Honeydew would react. Would he think it was creepy? Would he think it was great? I could not know. All I could do was to keep building. To keep on stacking the Jaffa cakes up and interlocking them, securing them in place with dark chocolate and orange jelly.

As I was turning to another part of the house, I tripped over something large and landed painfully on my chest. In this cliché moment, I expected to look up and see Honeydew as I turned over, but instead a pig gazed down at me, confused. I sat up, and, to my horror, saw that all the pigs from the field had lumbered up the hill and had stated to bite at the walls of the house.

"No!" I cried in panic, "get off! Stop it!" I did my best to try and shoo the pigs away, but they kept coming back. I sat down, trying not to cry, when I heard laughter coming from behind me. I turned. Racing up the hill, with all his beautiful dwarven might, was Honeydew. His eyes were shining and his face was pink with excitement. It that wild moment, all I could think of was apologising to him. I leaped up and ran over, tears slipping from my eyes. I grabbed his hand.

"Honeydew!" I gulped. "I am so, so sorry!"

Honeydew's grin grew wider, "For what? This is the most awesome thing I've ever seen and had done for me!"

"Wh- what? But… but the pigs…" I stammered, gesturing madly at the house. The pigs had, by now, taken large chunks out of the corners of the house.

"Oh, I know," Honeydew said, "but what's the point in a house made out of food if you're not going to eat it?"

I couldn't argue with his logic.

"Also," continued Honeydew, "I wanted a flat of Jaffas, but you…" he clasped my hand and looked into my eyes with his own sparkling ones, "you sent one step further. The extra mile. For me!"

And, as he slid is arms around my neck and hugged me tightly, I knew I had won his heart for good.

"Come on, Xephos!" cried Honeydew, taking my hand. "Let's go!"

"Go? Go where?" I said, perplexed/

"The Jaffas! They'll spoil if we don't eat 'em quick!"

I gazed up at my handiwork, quietly melting in the post-mid-morning sun. I had spent ages to make this, now we were going to eat it? But the pigs had already partially destroyed it themselves anyway.

"Oh, what the hell," I said, relenting. Honeydew cheered and we ran up the hill together, our arms linked.

Honeydew, lying beside me, sighed happily and laid a hand on his stomach, which was significantly bigger than it had been half an hour ago. So was mine. Behind us, the ruins of the Jaffa cake house stood. Some of the pigs had left, but some still stayed around, looking unwell.

"You know how you said you'd do anything for me, Xephos?" Honeydew said slowly, sitting up.

I got up slightly, leaning on my elbows, "Yes?"

"Well," Honeydew coughed, "I was wondering if you would do another thing for me."

I blinked. Could Honeydew have finally understood my confession as an actual confession, rather than just a joke?

"S- sure, I'll do something else for you," I said, sitting up properly beside Honeydew, who was looking at his knees.

"Then, okay." Uh, Xephos, I would like you to…" he faltered, blushing. "I would like you to… k- kiss me."

"Wh- what?!" I was so surprised at this sudden question, that I could say nothing else.

"Just, like, er… on the… on my cheek!" Honeydew said, offering his right cheek to me hastily.

I was all ready to kiss him, but I could see he wanted something bigger than just a peck on the cheek. He just couldn't say.

I raised my eyebrow at him, "I can't. Your sideburns are in the way," I said flatly.

"Oh."

We sat in silence for a minute or two while I looked at him, waiting. Honeydew chewed his lip.

"I still want you to kiss me," he mumbled. "But if my cheek is out of the question then… then you could kiss me…"

"On the lips?" I said, finishing his sentence for him. He nodded nervously, the pink of his blushing cheeks getting darker. I smiled. I had been waiting for this moment for years. I was going to make it beautiful and quiet. I reached around. I pulled Honeydew's head gently to face mine and, under the watchful gaze of the warm sun, with a joint feeling of love and warmth, we kissed.


End file.
